The order of priority

I can't grab everything at once.
What is the my first??
Why did I come to Ireland??
I am now thinking about a lot of things. Hodduk, moving a flat, calligraphy, travel, english and hanging out with friends.
When I decided to come here first, the most important thing was haning out with real Irish. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Though I always meet Irish in my stall, the words we can converse is limited. Because I AM NOT GOOD AT ENGLISH. Uuuuuaaaaaa
I can't hear them.....😠😠😠 withered more and more......
아... 시발 영어로 쓸라니까 존나 오래걸리네.....생각만 마~~악 지나가는데 아직도 내용은 여기야ㅋㅋ
Anyway, sometimes... I think 'does this work?? writing diary in english, watching a movie with no subtitle?? repeat after lines?? I can't feel anything.'
Keep going!!!
Should have kept everyday...
아몰랑
Come back home after work and so tired.
근데 또 I live so eagerly. Only no results.
Nonono, there are results. The only thing was I could't satisfy those results.
Become the best at the only one stuff. It's okay the others would go anywhere.
근데 여러가지  다 하고싶잖아.... 힝....
Have to travel london... prague....... improve english... sometimes physics... 팥빙수도 팔아야되눈데...
Ha.......아몰랑

Who are you?

Who are you guys reading my diary??
😆😆😆
5~7 people always read my diary and one guy pushes +1
Who is this?? Chang joon???kkkkk

Hoo~~ it may be a slump... these days...
I was supposed to write honestly but was feeling somebody... very a few people though... to read this.
It looks like I have to say something interesting or new experiences in spite of nothing special and a little boring life actually.

English is the most important.
Exchanging cultures, experiences and hanging out together, sharing their own opinions...
Impossible without a fluent language.
Because these are all higher level communications, It needs higher level of speeking english.

This is my interesting news!
a hodduk poster by Heo seok ji!!
I didn't expect like this high quality...!! Suprising~! Amazing~! Gorgeous~!
Haha~~ I should send english version title and contents.... I forgot...
The picture in the poster was taken by me!!

getting better

Obiously, my situation is getting better.

I'm making a money to live here, no worry to eat and sleep. Comparing to a month ago, it's improved definitely. In spite of this, always have problems and worries...

Don't be stressed about fucking trivial stuffs.

I have only to do what I need next. 

Happiness, sadness, lonelyness, madness, anger and every other emotions.

These are only emotions that goes by with time... no reason, ups and down whenever I wake up in the morning.

Don't have to be forced with that. Useless.

Just do it what you should do.

호떡이란 놈...

참 매정합니다.
2주동안 반죽만드는데 계속 실패하고있다.
똑같이 하는데 종현이는 되고 종혁이는 안된다.
차이점을 찾아야되는데 그걸 못 찾고있다.
반죽을 차지게하는 요소가 무엇인가?
식용유? 우유의 온도? 치대는 시간? 숙성시키는 온도와 시간?? 아... 시발
그 전에는 잘 만들어졌었는데...... 왜 갑자기 안될까...?
뭐지....뭘까.... 답답하다...
호떡 만드는게 이리도 어려울 줄은 몰랐다 정말로... 쉬운게 없다지만... 진짜 몰랐다.

...

여러가지로 집중이 되지 않는다.
그녀의 사진에는 신경쓰이는 부분이 있었다.
물어보고싶다. 어떻게 물어보아야 할까?
한국어에는 어미가 발달해있다. 어미에 따라 뉘앙스가 다르다. 영어는 그런게 없다. 아직까진 못 느끼겠다 그런게 있는지.
하... 나는 이렇게 기다리고 있다.
기다림은 아무것도 하지 않는게 아니다. 어쩌면 너무 많은 것을 하고있다. 혼자서만.
모든 힘이 상쇄되어서 알짜힘이 0이 되는 쓸데없는 짓이다.
결국 너에게는 아무것도 하지 않고있다.
나는 너를 건드려라도 보고싶다. 보고싶다. 보고싶다.
나는 또다시 알짜힘이 0이 되는 짓꺼리를 한다.

A real beginning!

Now, I can worry about money less.
I heard about farmer's market from cliff who is hottuk customer.. haha
There are designer market, so I want to participate in there with my calligraphy.
I am not a professional though... I think it works to dubliner.
I should do something fresh, new, interesting and exciting!!!
If I didn't do that, why I am here dublin!!
I wish everything goes well!! And make it going great by myself!!!

About my personality

My life, so interesting, changable, like rollercoaster... no! my emotion is like rollercoaster!!
I hate it. I want to be calm all the time.
One day, I fear to live like this, despair why I am doing so stupid, useless and can't do nothing.
and right next day, so proud of myself, I feel I can do anything.......
this kind of ups and downs prevent my study, growing up and achievements.
people should keep going to achieve something steadily.
I always fail to keep going and give up on the way because of my changable emotions.
Yesterday, I didn't go to work and attended cesar's party. It was so...... regretful. This is not because the party was not exciting.
I didn't enjoy well. I slept early while the party is going on. I don't know why I spent 20euros for the party and didn't go to work.
Totally ruined the day.
Steadiness! Keep going what I decide to do!! That is only thing I need.

But I got one more job today!!! Haha!!
Massive congraturations!!!

An appointment

An appointment should be kept.
I know this of course. But there are moments I don't want to make it suddenly, on the right morning.
massive conflictions come to me do I tell them I won't go or not.
It's too hard to decide what should I do?
No! Actually, it's not difficult.
You must go there.
If you think like this way, it's easy. Just think only the rule you have.
Don't be tempted by your emotions.
Haha...
Nevertheless everybody knows this conception like a textbook, it's not easy to obey their own rules.
And now, this is a little more complicated...
I have two promise that have to go.  Let's think what was a previous.......
When I stared my Hottuk business, I told my coworker we work off every sun and mon but if there is a holiday on monday, work on sunday too because there might be many customers on sunday.
And then, maybe 10days ago, Cesar invited me his party on sunday, so I answered yes because I am off on sunday.
But this monday is a holiday called bank holiday. I knew it 3days ago.
I didn't tell this situation to both of them.
I think it was a problem.... it was a real disaster me to start conflicting.
Ha..... the end....

Embarrasing end!

It's like a bull shit

Hoo...always writing something when it's going wrong.

Hottuk was sold only 6 pieces today. Don't be disappointed, it's only today!

Actually I was feeling kind of low because of not selling bad

My coworker... No passion, No effort, No willing to do something bothersome.

He always peaceful. What a envious temper!

Why did he start this?? 

I really want to make this bigger and bigger.

I just said this is for an experience but honestly I dreamed more grandiose.

I want this business to be continue for a long time and years later, when I visit Dublin I want to see it again.

It would be fabulous. I think we should do something to improve our business.

If I would have worked alone, of course there are many problem but I might not conflict like this.

I want him to be active and show me something like ......proposals....

'How does it goes like this? or I think doing this is better!'

He always decline and show me his unwell.

Sitting on a chair and seeing his cellphone.

FUCKING LITTLE SHIT

   

ha... there are many positive things of course. He isn't disappointed because there is no expectation. I was able to control my mind with him. 'it is possible!! how does everyday be good!' the word that he used to say...